With my experience dealing with Aspergers, and life in general, I have discovered just how significantly your own perception can affect, and even alter the things you experience. Before my school started back up for the year, for about a week, I was rather anxious about what might happen. Would I get stuck in a back seat? Would I act socially awkward? Would I...
The point being, I was freaking out! Every day that passed, I got worse, until the very thought of school would make me anxious. The day before school, I decided I was not going to let myself get upset anymore. I told myself I would be fine, and you know what? It worked. There were a few scheduling problems, one of which was very frustrating, but I refused to let it get to me.
Another time was when I started working on this article. I was sitting in my health class, with nothing to do. Instead of getting upset, I decided to write this. The class seemed to speed up, and it was over really soon. I was able to get through the class without it tainting the rest of my day. It could have easily gone south, but It didn't. The reason for that, is that I didn't let myself get upset; I used that time to be productive rather than simply waste the (valuable) time.
I'd like to call this a technique, but it's not one. It's a mindset. It's realizing that you are the most important factor in what your life is like. I've had my fair share of feeling hopeless because of my Aspergers before, but thinking this was has really helped. I've made this into a mantra for myself. If you've never heard of mantras before, they are a powerful way of affecting the subconscious. A mantra is a single thought, (or in some cases, an emotion) that you repeat in your mind. An example would be me verbalizing "I'm in control" whilst I'm having an anger outburst. Try it!
So much of a problem is in how you perceive it. When I have an argument with my Mom, for instance, it may seem like I'm totally right, but I try to give her the benefit of the doubt that I may be misjudging the situation. A lot of the time, trying to see the situation from her perspective allows me to calm down, and stop arguing. Instead of staying in the rut of my default perception, I try to see the situation in a more manageable way.
Sometimes for me, If I focus on my intellectual mind rather than my emotional mind, I can work my way through emotional situations. It's less a "look for a way to be better" mindset, and more of a "am I entitled to be angry?". I tend to get angry too often, so I try to evaluate my anger. Just using this as an example, it's fine to get angry as long as it's not out of proportion. That's what I try to remember when I'm upset. It helps for me to gauge how angry I am, whether that's a 1-10 scale, or a percentage of how angry I could be. I also decide how much anger I should have. If they don't match up, then I had a defective reaction. Just knowing that helps, because it's altering my perception.
Finally, and to wrap this post up, in order to do this, you have to actively be bettering yourself. When I was in class that one time, I didn't just randomly think of working on my blog. I thought of ways that I could use the time I had. So, when you have a problem, look for a way to make it better.
This is Jordan from teenaspergers.blogspot.com signing off.
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