Shopping

Shopping, especially for clothes, is a very difficult chore. It's one of those things you don't want to do, but you have to do it... at least sometimes. Of course, you must know that from personal experience, in which case, on to the article!

Drink plenty of water
- All the malls, and many of the stores I've ever been to had water fountains. Because they are frequently near restrooms, corners, and other low-traffic areas, it's an excuse to get away from the noise. It's also great, because drinking water in general helps to reduce over-stimulation.

Browse around
- If your in the mall, take some time to visit stores that have merchandise you enjoy. Even if window shopping isn't your thing (I personally don't see the point...) , taking ten or fifteen minutes to read a book at a book store, or playing the demo of a new game can be very revitalizing, and I DO see the point of that.

Animals!
- While obviously not applicable to your typical store, some malls or complexes, have pet stores either as part of them, or in a nearby building. Like the previous point, taking time to visit these stores can be very helpful. In addition to simply being a welcome distraction to the noise and stress that is shopping, interacting with animals is also stress relieving by itself.

Bring an MP3 player
- In addition to relieving stress, listening to music also helps to drown out the noise of other people around you. And any pesky music that stores choose to play.

Last summer when I was picking out new shoes, one of the stores I went to, had rap music playing really, really loud over the speakers. It was so loud I had to raise my voice just so my mom could hear me talking. Fortunately, I had my cellphone and some ear buds to listen to music with, which really helped.

I hope that they is enough information in this article that you were able to get something out of it.
With a desire to make life easier for fellow aspies, this is Jordan Plutchok of teenaspergers.blogspot.com signing off.

Music for Aspies

When talking about music, the thing that really pops out in my mind is that music has a way of leaping into you and forcing you to feel the emotion it wants you to feel.

In virtually all commercials and movies, music is used extensively to evoke emotion. It's so common, that you probably have a few dozen examples already in your mind.

This unique power of music can also be used to counter Asperger mood swings, and the emotions that come with the crap life sometimes gives you.

Ironically, I find that listening to music that has the same emotion I'm feeling is what helps the most. It intensifies the emotions for a short time, burning them away, and when the song is over, I rarely feel anything more than the dying embers of what was an inferno of emotion.

I've gotten through some of the darkest times in my life by emptying my mind into the music I listened to. When life got tough, I was able to ignore it - if only for a short time - through music. Music is the closest thing to magic I've ever experienced, and really, wouldn't it be awesome if you could just use magic on Aspergers? Well...

I really urge you to at least try to use music like this. At worst it will be a chance to experience something you might not have otherwise experienced. At best, it may be one of the most useful coping strategies you will ever learn. It's really a win-win scenario.

If I feel depressed, I listen to sad music and for some reason, it really helps me feel better. This song, Fade to black by Apocalyptica, is a really great example because it has so much emotion in it.

The intro feels mournful, but as the song progresses it gives me a sense of hope and fighting against the depression. By the end of the song, it has a victorious feeling; one that I want to be able to have about my life.

This song really expresses how I feel about my Aspergers. I'm sad and depressed abut it, but I'm fighting it, knowing one day I'll beat it.

I really hope that you feel that way too, and if not, I hope that I can help you feel that way, or better through this blog.

You can check out my Music Gallery if you want suggestions on emotional music. And who knows, you might find something that really moves you.

This is Jordan from teenaspergers.blogspot.com signing off.

Success

As you've been dealing with Aspergers, be that days, weeks, months, or years, I'm sure you have wondered what It would be like without Aspergers, and what it will be like when you are able to minimize it. "What might it be like when I'm successful in this war?". Sound familiar? Okay, you probably don't think that way, but my point is to bring up success, hence the title.

If you've never done something like this before, read the next few sentences and try it out. Close your eyes, stop paying attention to your surroundings, and imagine yourself without Aspergers. What does it look like? Is it indescribable? Your biggest enemy in life bowing at your feet surrendering.

When you reach that point, do you picture yourself visiting a docter who tells you there's nothing wrong with you? Do you simply imagine how it would be to appear and feel normal? I can't answer that for you, that's something you need to do.

Where am I going with this? I'm trying to get at the fact that how you picture your future is important. It comes down to what you want out of life. Does success mean fitting in while in public? Does it mean being an amazing and outgoing individual? Or does it simply mean having emotional control?

For me, I don't want to be just average. If I was average, I wouldn't be writing a blog to help people (and myself at that).

Ask yourself, do I really want to be average? Can you minimize the negative effects of Aspergers and nurture the positive ones? Only you define what success is for yourself, and that's what you aim for. You decide when your happy with yourself.

The important part is that you get to decide what you want to be.

It's something to think about at least. Remember, ruminating on things makes you a better person. This is Jordan from teenaspergers.blogspot.com signing off.

Aspergers is like wine: it get's better with age

Not that I have any experience with wine though... yeah.

Anyway, I just want to write for a second about something I read a little while ago. I was surfing the web trying to find something related to Aspergers interesting enough to read, and I found a yahoo questions post asking if Aspergers gets worse as you get older.

I think this is the opposite of the truth. As you get older, I find, you get tired of the Aspergers and you learn ways to make it easier for yourself. As long as you have a desire to get better when you grow, the Aspergers problems diminish, and the benefits of it grow.

When I was younger I would have frequent outbursts of anger, and I was very sensetive to sound and touch, and just about everything. Now that i'm older, I learned several ways to be able to cope, and I have much less anger and I can tolerate more things.

For example: when I was younger my dogs barking would drive me crazy. Now when they bark though, I can tolerate it better, and it doesn't really affect me.

This is Jordan from teenaspergers.blogspot.com signing off.

Basic Meditation

Meditation is a good tool to have. There are many aspects of meditation, but for now, i'm going to wright a basic technique that you can do for only 10-15 minutes a day. You can do it whenever is convenient, but I find that it's best to do before bed.

During the day your brain has to process the information it is receiving. Whenever you do anything, it adds to the data you have to process.

Taking 10 or 15 minutes to lets your conscious mind rest, and sort out that information helps very much to reduce stress. It's good to use before bed, because it is relaxing and also helps to slow down any racing thoughts you may be having.

Just sit or lie in bed, or a chair if you want, close your eyes, and let you thoughts wander. You'll likely start thinking about something that happened to you, or something that's been on your mind. After a little while, your thoughts should slow down. When this happens, you know the meditation worked, as that's the goal. To slow down your thoughts.

That's it. It's just that simple. This is the basis of most, if not all meditation techniques. You can deep breath if you want, and that can make it more relaxing, but I don't think it's necessary. It's just a matter of turning your attention away from the things happening around you and focusing on your own thoughts.

Acceptance

Acceptance is, at least for me, the holy grail of fighting Aspergers. It towers light years above anything else I've learned or tried my whole life, and if I could only learn one thing to use against my AS, this would be it.

Acceptance is a mindset that is formed through experience, practice, and devotion. Acceptance is one of the hardest things to master in life, but also one of the most useful. It is possible, just not easy. But when has beating up Aspergers ever been easy.

Forming a mindset of acceptance, will help with any number of problems that you may encounter in life, but for the sake of explanation, I'll use Aspergers as an example.

Acceptance, is one part acknowledgement, and one part denial. It took me a while to understand it myself, but when I did, I came up with this.

You acknowledge something bad happened or is happening, but you deny it has any control over you. By deny, I mean you don't let the fact that you found out you have Aspergers in and of itself bother you.

The actual Aspergers symptoms may affect you, but the name doesn't have to. And for the symptoms, you can fight them, so don't get discouraged. That's the worst of things you could do.

By acknowledging that it really does stink to have Aspergers, and you do have it, you aren't ignoring any strong emotions. Ignoring things like this, may not always blow up in your face, but it's never good for you.

Acknowledging your feelings does not mean beating yourself up over having them, because in all honesty, it does suck to have Aspergers, and that feeling is justified. It just means facing those emotions in the eye and saying "Get away from me, you are useless, and I choose to ignore you."

You can't let dealing with strong emotions drag you into an emotional abyss though, which leads quite well into the second part of acceptance: denial. Denial in this context, means a refusal to let something affect you.

If that something happens to be depression or anger over having Aspergers, then denial is a good thing. Getting all bent out of shape over something you can't change won't do any good. After all, Aspergers is just a name.

The actual symptoms of AS may not be something you can fix simply through will power alone, but letting the name affect you won't help. I know I just said it one sentence ago, but I want to hammer it into your head, because it took me a long time to learn this.

After several years of not accepting my Aspergers, I eventually found a better way, acceptance, and ever since them I have been so much better with most of the symptoms, because I don't have negative emotions seething under the surface. If you get anything at all from this post at all, please let it be at least this:

Getting upset over a name won't help!!!!

Acceptance is truly the best tool to use in the war against Aspergers in my experience. Just remember acknowladgement and denial. This is Jordan from teenaspergers.blogspot.com signing off.

A few things I did to get through school for the first time

Recently I've been thinking about how I made it past many of the struggles that I've had when I was younger, and how this past school year I had much, much less difficulty than I had expected.

Many of the things that would have been hard for me no less than a year or two ago were actually not that hard when I encountered them now.

My whole life until this year, I was home schooled. So as you can imagine, the first year of public school, also being high school, is no walk in the park, especially for someone with Aspergers.

I ended the year with all A grades, made some friends, went to honors classes, and even started an after school club. I say that to make the point that even though I have Aspergers, I made it through school with flying colors.

This, along with a conversation I had with my mother where she was telling me that she, and a lot of the people in my school had noticed how in-tune I am with my emotions, helped me to realize how much I had changed. I agree with that, even though up until recently I took it for granted.

So, after thinking about it for a while, I decided on what helped me the most. Really, it wasn't medicine or any other kind of treatment. What helped me the most, was actually the way I was thinking.

When I was younger, I would complain about how unfair it was having Aspergers, and that life was too hard for me because of my Aspergers. I wanted it to just go away so I could be normal. Naturally, I had an exceptional difficulty coping with life thinking that way.

Now when I think about my Aspergers, it doesn't bother me as much. I realize it's just a part of who I am, and there are even things that I gain from having it. I don't complain about how unfair it is, and I don't just give up if something is hard because of having Aspergers.

When that happens, I pull out my claws and dig into the situation trying to find some way to get over whatever challenge I may be having. Sometimes it takes a really long time, but I don't give up.

To give you an example, take my school. My school is not really any different than any other school. It's small, having around 500 students, but the students and the teachers are just like any other students and teachers from other schools.

And other than my Aspergers I'm just like any other person. No superpowers or anything. At least not the last time I checked.

So how did I do so well, you may ask. It was the way I thought. The first day, I decided I was capable of an A grade, and that anything less was being lazy, so I did everything I could to get that grade. Sometimes I would have to stay after school to learn more about a certain topic to accomplish my goal, but it was worth it, and in the end I did get that A grade I wanted.

I found a challenge and accepted it. Then, I didn't back down until I beat that challenge. I had a hands-on attitude of: "I'm going to do what it takes to get this grade!". I also had to be aware of how I was feeling emotional. If I was feeling stressed and it was making school hard for me, I knew it, and made an effort to be less stressed.

Similarly, if I felt confused about something, I would take time to talk to a teacher. It was more attitude and emotional awareness than it was intelligence, because if I hadn't had the those two aspects, I would never have got that A.

I had acceptance, emotional awareness, and a willingness to work at getting better, and they all helped me through the year. They are three of the most important steps towards overcoming any  problem in life.

Aromatherapy for Aspergers

One of the more unusual coping methods I have is aromatherapy. It is easy to use, fast acting, and I have personal experience; it is really helpful, and I recommend it to anyone who wants to reduce stress.

What is Aromatherapy?

"Aromatherapy is the therapeutic use of plant-derived, aromatic essential oils to promote physical and psychological well-being." (Medical Dictionary) There are many different oils, each with their own properties. Some are relaxing, some are invigorating, and there are many in between.

How do you use Aromatherapy?

I use essential oils with either a diffuser designed to spread the oils throughout the air, or I inhale the aroma of the oil straight from the bottle. I find that using a diffuser is useful to create a longer-lasting effect that is less potent than without one. Inhaling straight from the bottle has a more potent effect, but is more cumbersome as it forces you to hold the bottle up to your nose as long as you want to use it. There are also many other methods of using aromatherapy atmospherically.
Here's a nice list of ways to use essential oils:

• Dish washing
• Washing clothes
• Applied to the skin in lotion
• Diluted with water and sprayed from a spray bottle as room freshener
• Put in baths
• Applied to a towel or cotton ball for an alternate way of inhaling the scent
• And some can even be put into food

As a closing note on this section, I would like to say that the first two methods I mentioned are the most effective during an anger flare-up, or in an unusually stressful situation because they both have a more direct effect than the other methods I've tried.

What essential oils do you use?

My favorite essential oil is Vetiver because it has a calming effect on me. I use Vetiver whenever I am angry or stressed, and it is one of the most effective methods of stress relief on short notice.

Another one I like to use is Lavender because it has a similar effect. I find that lavender however, is better for treating insomnia or excess energy than it is for anger. I particularly enjoy putting it on a towel or my pillow before going to bed. :)

Two other oils I use are cinnamon, which is useful for concentration, and peppermint, which is useful for increasing energy.

What about oils with labels like "stress relief"?

Some companies have essential oil blends that combine different oils with similar effects. These blends can be more useful than individual essential oils, however, there are a few things to look out for when buying blends.

When combining different oils, sometimes the individual aromas together can be quite strong, and may be difficult to tolerate or can even cause headaches if you are sensitive to smell. I once used a stress relief blend that contained Vetiver, but also contained several other oils, one of which I believe was rosewood. The rosewood was too strong for me, and made the blend unpleasant to use. In addition, in oil blends, the actual scent of the individual oils can be masked by the stronger ones. If you're looking for the aroma of a particular essential oil, you may be better off avoiding an essential oil blend.

All in all, aromatherapy is a great method to use, and have available. It is usually fast acting and effective, but not particularly long lasting in the same way other methods are. Bottles can be purchased online or at health stores, and I recommend this method to anyone with daily stress, or difficultly with anger.

Pets and Aspergers

I really believe that having pets can help to ease many Aspergers symptoms, because I have two dogs and they have helped my through many difficult times in my life. They taught me some of the most valuable skills I have now, and they helped me to improve in some of the areas my AS has made hard for me. Empathy, touch, and responsibility to name a few.

Pets help you learn empathy and body language.
Having pets is great for learning empathy and body language. Reading body language and emotion, is something that is often difficult for people who have AS because people have many complicated ways of communicating even a single emotion. Animals have more obvious ways of communicating emotions through body language. For example, when a dog is scared he might cower, or when a dog is happy he may wag his tail. Watching these cues in a pet can help you to develop more of an awareness of his emotions, which is useful practice for reading human emotions.

Pets desensitize you to touch.
Another area pets can help with is sensitivity to touch. As someone who has Aspergers, I can easily tell you that touch is an area that is difficult for me. When I was younger, I didn't want the dogs to lick me or even touch me at all. But after years of their persistence in the matter, I now voluntarily go up to them and pet them, and enjoy doing it. A pet won't mind it if you don't let them touch you, and a pet won't mind if you pet them for long amounts of time. Some pets even enjoy it.

With my dogs, I find that something about their fur seems to dampen my sensitivity towards touching them. Petting my dogs is a way for me to desensitize myself to touch. These skills with tolerating touch, can also be applied to interactions with people.

Pets are understanding.
Pets are very in tune with your emotions, and tend to do their best to help you feel better if they think you're sad or upset. Sometimes when I'm having a bad day, my dogs will come over to me and insist I pet them, which does help me feel better. Sometimes if I'm angry my dogs place themselves underfoot. I think that the reason they do this has to do with their pack instincts. In a dog pack order, the dogs higher up take out their stress on dogs lower on the hierarchy. I think my dog believes it's his job to be the one to absorb the stress, and puts himself in a position he thinks will annoy me so I get angry at him, and then I'll feel better. It just shows that he's willing to potentially get hurt in order to help me.

A story about my dog.
This next section is a personal example of how in-tune my dog is with me. One time when I was younger and my family had only recently gotten the dogs, I was still uncomfortable with too much interaction with the dogs, so my parents put a baby gate in front of my room so the dogs couldn't get in when I was sleeping.

Anyway, it was at night, and I was in my bed sleeping while my mom and dad were in the other room. One of my dogs, Rooben, came up to the baby gate, and started barking like crazy. My parents tried to get him to stop barking because they didn't want him to wake me up, but no matter what they did he kept barking until my parents realized something was wrong. So they went into my room to see if I was okay. They found out that sometime after I went to bed, I had developed a high fever, that if the dog hadn't pointed out could have been very dangerous to me. Ever since then, even though he can be a pain in the neck, Rooben has earned a permanent place in our family. The moral of the story, so to speak, is that my dog could tell something was wrong even better than my parents, and it shows just how in tune he is with me.

Pets are forgiving of mistakes.
Thankfully, pets are very forgiving; more forgiving than most people are. Because of this, it's often more comfortable to interact with a pet than a person. And they won't hold a grudge against you if you mess up. That's just another reason why pets are great for practicing difficult areas.

How do pets reduce stress?
Playing with your pet, or even just watching him or her, can lower your blood pressure. They can also increase the levels of serotonin in your brain. Serotonin is known as the feel-good chemical because it regulates mood, pain sensitivity, and even sleep cycles.


All of these things can make having a pet a good thing in dealing with Aspergers and day to day stress. But of course, before getting a pet you should make sure that you can manage him or her, otherwise it may do the opposite of what you want. If you can manage one, caring for a pet helps to force a person to be more responsible because the animal is relying on you to meet their needs.

This is Jordan from teenaspergers.blogspot.com signing off.