Recently I've been thinking about how I made it past many of the struggles that I've had when I was younger, and how this past school year I had much, much less difficulty than I had expected.
Many of the things that would have been hard for me no less than a year or two ago were actually not that hard when I encountered them now.
My whole life until this year, I was home schooled. So as you can imagine, the first year of public school, also being high school, is no walk in the park, especially for someone with Aspergers.
I ended the year with all A grades, made some friends, went to honors classes, and even started an after school club. I say that to make the point that even though I have Aspergers, I made it through school with flying colors.
This, along with a conversation I had with my mother where she was telling me that she, and a lot of the people in my school had noticed how in-tune I am with my emotions, helped me to realize how much I had changed. I agree with that, even though up until recently I took it for granted.
So, after thinking about it for a while, I decided on what helped me the most. Really, it wasn't medicine or any other kind of treatment. What helped me the most, was actually the way I was thinking.
When I was younger, I would complain about how unfair it was having Aspergers, and that life was too hard for me because of my Aspergers. I wanted it to just go away so I could be normal. Naturally, I had an exceptional difficulty coping with life thinking that way.
Now when I think about my Aspergers, it doesn't bother me as much. I realize it's just a part of who I am, and there are even things that I gain from having it. I don't complain about how unfair it is, and I don't just give up if something is hard because of having Aspergers.
When that happens, I pull out my claws and dig into the situation trying to find some way to get over whatever challenge I may be having. Sometimes it takes a really long time, but I don't give up.
To give you an example, take my school. My school is not really any different than any other school. It's small, having around 500 students, but the students and the teachers are just like any other students and teachers from other schools.
And other than my Aspergers I'm just like any other person. No superpowers or anything. At least not the last time I checked.
So how did I do so well, you may ask. It was the way I thought. The first day, I decided I was capable of an A grade, and that anything less was being lazy, so I did everything I could to get that grade. Sometimes I would have to stay after school to learn more about a certain topic to accomplish my goal, but it was worth it, and in the end I did get that A grade I wanted.
I found a challenge and accepted it. Then, I didn't back down until I beat that challenge. I had a hands-on attitude of: "I'm going to do what it takes to get this grade!". I also had to be aware of how I was feeling emotional. If I was feeling stressed and it was making school hard for me, I knew it, and made an effort to be less stressed.
Similarly, if I felt confused about something, I would take time to talk to a teacher. It was more attitude and emotional awareness than it was intelligence, because if I hadn't had the those two aspects, I would never have got that A.
I had acceptance, emotional awareness, and a willingness to work at getting better, and they all helped me through the year. They are three of the most important steps towards overcoming any problem in life.
Saturday, August 13
Sunday, August 7
Aromatherapy for Aspergers
One of the more unusual coping methods I have is aromatherapy. It is easy to use, fast acting, and I have personal experience; it is really helpful, and I recommend it to anyone who wants to reduce stress.
What is Aromatherapy?
"Aromatherapy is the therapeutic use of plant-derived, aromatic essential oils to promote physical and psychological well-being." (Medical Dictionary) There are many different oils, each with their own properties. Some are relaxing, some are invigorating, and there are many in between.
How do you use Aromatherapy?
I use essential oils with either a diffuser designed to spread the oils throughout the air, or I inhale the aroma of the oil straight from the bottle. I find that using a diffuser is useful to create a longer-lasting effect that is less potent than without one. Inhaling straight from the bottle has a more potent effect, but is more cumbersome as it forces you to hold the bottle up to your nose as long as you want to use it. There are also many other methods of using aromatherapy atmospherically.
Here's a nice list of ways to use essential oils:
Here's a nice list of ways to use essential oils:
- Dish washing
- Washing clothes
- Applied to the skin in lotion
- Diluted with water and sprayed from a spray bottle as room freshener
- Put in baths
- Applied to a towel or cotton ball for an alternate way of inhaling the scent
- And some can even be put into food
As a closing note on this section, I would like to say that the first two methods I mentioned are the most effective during an anger flare-up, or in an unusually stressful situation because they both have a more direct effect than the other methods I've tried.
What essential oils do you use?
My favorite essential oil is Vetiver because it has a calming effect on me. I use Vetiver whenever I am angry or stressed, and it is one of the most effective methods of stress relief on short notice.
Another one I like to use is Lavender because it has a similar effect. I find that lavender however, is better for treating insomnia or excess energy than it is for anger. I particularly enjoy putting it on a towel or my pillow before going to bed. :)
Two other oils I use are cinnamon, which is useful for concentration, and peppermint, which is useful for increasing energy.
Another one I like to use is Lavender because it has a similar effect. I find that lavender however, is better for treating insomnia or excess energy than it is for anger. I particularly enjoy putting it on a towel or my pillow before going to bed. :)
Two other oils I use are cinnamon, which is useful for concentration, and peppermint, which is useful for increasing energy.
What about oils with labels like "stress relief"?
Some companies have essential oil blends that combine different oils with similar effects. These blends can be more useful than individual essential oils, however, there are a few things to look out for when buying blends.
When combining different oils, sometimes the individual aromas together can be quite strong, and may be difficult to tolerate or can even cause headaches if you are sensitive to smell. I once used a stress relief blend that contained Vetiver, but also contained several other oils, one of which I believe was rosewood. The rosewood was too strong for me, and made the blend unpleasant to use. In addition, in oil blends, the actual scent of the individual oils can be masked by the stronger ones. If you're looking for the aroma of a particular essential oil, you may be better off avoiding an essential oil blend.
When combining different oils, sometimes the individual aromas together can be quite strong, and may be difficult to tolerate or can even cause headaches if you are sensitive to smell. I once used a stress relief blend that contained Vetiver, but also contained several other oils, one of which I believe was rosewood. The rosewood was too strong for me, and made the blend unpleasant to use. In addition, in oil blends, the actual scent of the individual oils can be masked by the stronger ones. If you're looking for the aroma of a particular essential oil, you may be better off avoiding an essential oil blend.
All in all, aromatherapy is a great method to use, and have available. It is usually fast acting and effective, but not particularly long lasting in the same way other methods are. Bottles can be purchased online or at health stores, and I recommend this method to anyone with daily stress, or difficultly with anger.
Saturday, August 6
Pets and Aspergers
I really believe that having pets can help to ease many Aspergers symptoms, because I have two dogs and they have helped my through many difficult times in my life. They taught me some of the most valuable skills I have now, and they helped me to improve in some of the areas my AS has made hard for me. Empathy, touch, and responsibility to name a few.
Pets help you learn empathy and body language.
Having pets is great for learning empathy and body language. Reading body language and emotion, is something that is often difficult for people who have AS because people have many complicated ways of communicating even a single emotion. Animals have more obvious ways of communicating emotions through body language. For example, when a dog is scared he might cower, or when a dog is happy he may wag his tail. Watching these cues in a pet can help you to develop more of an awareness of his emotions, which is useful practice for reading human emotions.
Pets desensitize you to touch.
Another area pets can help with is sensitivity to touch. As someone who has Aspergers, I can easily tell you that touch is an area that is difficult for me. When I was younger, I didn't want the dogs to lick me or even touch me at all. But after years of their persistence in the matter, I now voluntarily go up to them and pet them, and enjoy doing it. A pet won't mind it if you don't let them touch you, and a pet won't mind if you pet them for long amounts of time. Some pets even enjoy it.
With my dogs, I find that something about their fur seems to dampen my sensitivity towards touching them. Petting my dogs is a way for me to desensitize myself to touch. These skills with tolerating touch, can also be applied to interactions with people.
Pets are understanding.
Pets are very in tune with your emotions, and tend to do their best to help you feel better if they think you're sad or upset. Sometimes when I'm having a bad day, my dogs will come over to me and insist I pet them, which does help me feel better. Sometimes if I'm angry my dogs place themselves underfoot. I think that the reason they do this has to do with their pack instincts. In a dog pack order, the dogs higher up take out their stress on dogs lower on the hierarchy. I think my dog believes it's his job to be the one to absorb the stress, and puts himself in a position he thinks will annoy me so I get angry at him, and then I'll feel better. It just shows that he's willing to potentially get hurt in order to help me.
A story about my dog.
This next section is a personal example of how in-tune my dog is with me. One time when I was younger and my family had only recently gotten the dogs, I was still uncomfortable with too much interaction with the dogs, so my parents put a baby gate in front of my room so the dogs couldn't get in when I was sleeping.
Anyway, it was at night, and I was in my bed sleeping while my mom and dad were in the other room. One of my dogs, Rooben, came up to the baby gate, and started barking like crazy. My parents tried to get him to stop barking because they didn't want him to wake me up, but no matter what they did he kept barking until my parents realized something was wrong. So they went into my room to see if I was okay. They found out that sometime after I went to bed, I had developed a high fever, that if the dog hadn't pointed out could have been very dangerous to me. Ever since then, even though he can be a pain in the neck, Rooben has earned a permanent place in our family. The moral of the story, so to speak, is that my dog could tell something was wrong even better than my parents, and it shows just how in tune he is with me.
Pets are forgiving of mistakes.
Thankfully, pets are very forgiving; more forgiving than most people are. Because of this, it's often more comfortable to interact with a pet than a person. And they won't hold a grudge against you if you mess up. That's just another reason why pets are great for practicing difficult areas.
How do pets reduce stress?
Playing with your pet, or even just watching him or her, can lower your blood pressure. They can also increase the levels of serotonin in your brain. Serotonin is known as the feel-good chemical because it regulates mood, pain sensitivity, and even sleep cycles.
All of these things can make having a pet a good thing in dealing with Aspergers and day to day stress. But of course, before getting a pet you should make sure that you can manage him or her, otherwise it may do the opposite of what you want. If you can manage one, caring for a pet helps to force a person to be more responsible because the animal is relying on you to meet their needs.
This is Jordan from teenaspergers.blogspot.com signing off.
Pets help you learn empathy and body language.
Having pets is great for learning empathy and body language. Reading body language and emotion, is something that is often difficult for people who have AS because people have many complicated ways of communicating even a single emotion. Animals have more obvious ways of communicating emotions through body language. For example, when a dog is scared he might cower, or when a dog is happy he may wag his tail. Watching these cues in a pet can help you to develop more of an awareness of his emotions, which is useful practice for reading human emotions.
Pets desensitize you to touch.
Another area pets can help with is sensitivity to touch. As someone who has Aspergers, I can easily tell you that touch is an area that is difficult for me. When I was younger, I didn't want the dogs to lick me or even touch me at all. But after years of their persistence in the matter, I now voluntarily go up to them and pet them, and enjoy doing it. A pet won't mind it if you don't let them touch you, and a pet won't mind if you pet them for long amounts of time. Some pets even enjoy it.
With my dogs, I find that something about their fur seems to dampen my sensitivity towards touching them. Petting my dogs is a way for me to desensitize myself to touch. These skills with tolerating touch, can also be applied to interactions with people.
Pets are understanding.
Pets are very in tune with your emotions, and tend to do their best to help you feel better if they think you're sad or upset. Sometimes when I'm having a bad day, my dogs will come over to me and insist I pet them, which does help me feel better. Sometimes if I'm angry my dogs place themselves underfoot. I think that the reason they do this has to do with their pack instincts. In a dog pack order, the dogs higher up take out their stress on dogs lower on the hierarchy. I think my dog believes it's his job to be the one to absorb the stress, and puts himself in a position he thinks will annoy me so I get angry at him, and then I'll feel better. It just shows that he's willing to potentially get hurt in order to help me.
A story about my dog.
This next section is a personal example of how in-tune my dog is with me. One time when I was younger and my family had only recently gotten the dogs, I was still uncomfortable with too much interaction with the dogs, so my parents put a baby gate in front of my room so the dogs couldn't get in when I was sleeping.
Anyway, it was at night, and I was in my bed sleeping while my mom and dad were in the other room. One of my dogs, Rooben, came up to the baby gate, and started barking like crazy. My parents tried to get him to stop barking because they didn't want him to wake me up, but no matter what they did he kept barking until my parents realized something was wrong. So they went into my room to see if I was okay. They found out that sometime after I went to bed, I had developed a high fever, that if the dog hadn't pointed out could have been very dangerous to me. Ever since then, even though he can be a pain in the neck, Rooben has earned a permanent place in our family. The moral of the story, so to speak, is that my dog could tell something was wrong even better than my parents, and it shows just how in tune he is with me.
Pets are forgiving of mistakes.
Thankfully, pets are very forgiving; more forgiving than most people are. Because of this, it's often more comfortable to interact with a pet than a person. And they won't hold a grudge against you if you mess up. That's just another reason why pets are great for practicing difficult areas.
How do pets reduce stress?
Playing with your pet, or even just watching him or her, can lower your blood pressure. They can also increase the levels of serotonin in your brain. Serotonin is known as the feel-good chemical because it regulates mood, pain sensitivity, and even sleep cycles.
All of these things can make having a pet a good thing in dealing with Aspergers and day to day stress. But of course, before getting a pet you should make sure that you can manage him or her, otherwise it may do the opposite of what you want. If you can manage one, caring for a pet helps to force a person to be more responsible because the animal is relying on you to meet their needs.
This is Jordan from teenaspergers.blogspot.com signing off.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)